The Key to Delegation
Know Your World
What is going on around you that is contributing to your fatigue level
(e.g., cancer diagnosis, symptoms related to your cancer or treatment,
role changes at home, financial stress, emotional and physical stress)?
Know Yourself
What personal barriers must you overcome to realize the benefits of
delegating to others (e.g., sense of anger, feelings of loss of control,
achievement concern that it won't be done right, feel abandonment or
that you aren't worthy or needed, loss of your "normal" role in the
family)?
Know What Needs to be Done
- Assess what you need done. Learn to let go.
- Plan and prioritize.
- Divide duties among your friends or family members, considering
their skill and knowledge level, motivation, and personal traits.
Provide a clear understanding of the responsibility and what your
expectations are. Delegation can empower family and friends to
enhance their talents and skills and possibly develop new ones.
- Evaluate and provide praise. Reinforce good work and good
attempts. Resist the temptation to take over if or when things go
wrong.
Know the Person to Whom You Are Delegating the Task
Assess the strengths of your family. Who is better at doing the yard
work? Who likes to cook? Who does a better job with the housework? Your
family members want to help. In letting go, you will show friends and
family that you trust and respect them and that you need them.
Ultimately, by sharing the work, it allows you to devote more time and
energy to activities and areas that are most meaningful to you.
Communicate
- Openly and honestly let your friends and family members know
your feelings.
- Use "I feel" and "I want" statements
- Communicate who, what, where, when, how, and why.
Resolve Conflict
- Shift your focus: Determine what is possible in this situation,
and turn away from negative feelings. Separate the person from the
problem.
- Create a positive, open attitude: Listen and empathize with what
the other person wants/needs. Respect feelings that are expressed.
- State your feelings: Be direct and honest. State your feelings
clearly and factually. Determine what you are willing to do or give
to get what you want.
- Evaluate mutual goals: Determine what the other person is
willing to do or give up to get what he or she wants and propose a
solution that reflects understanding of what you both want/need.
Evaluate Feedback
The final step in this process is providing positive and constructive
feedback to your friend or family member. If these words are left
unspoken, he or she may wonder, "Did I do ok?", "Does he or she notice
what I do?", or even "he or she never thanks me, so what does it
matter?" Sharing honest feedback regarding a person's efforts and
performance takes courage. Providing praise and constructive criticism
will strengthen your relationship and create a greater sense of "team"
and support of one another as you face your cancer diagnosis.
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Lack of understanding within a family about cancer fatigue can lead to
communication problems, resentment, and feelings of guilt. |
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